Commercials

Keyword: commercials

I am so sick of commercials! I hate how they constantly remind me how crappy my credit is. Every time there is a commercial about cancer, I wonder if I have it and which cancer center I’d go to. I can be happy-go-lucky watching my favorite program, and BAM! Out of nowhere, a skinny kid from some third world country stares into my eyes as I’m finishing off the last bit of cookies & cream ice cream, and I suddenly feel so guilty because I have so much. I don’t care how Smilin’Bob’s schlong works or doesn’t work. Billy Mayes, I’m sure you get excited about everything, but is that weed auger really a cause for SHOUTING AT THE TOP OF YOUR LUNGS ABOUT THE JOYS OF MASSACRING WEEDS?!? Oh, and the volume of certain commercials! The latest culprits seem to be the DIRECTV ads, and any kind of insurance commercials. It’s like lacking insurance or the right type of satellite service makes you deaf so they have to yell to get your attention. I long for the days of Snuggle the fabric softener bear. I crave cereal and toy commercials. I don’t care if I ever see another sexual enhancement product, diet pill, or law firm commercial in my life again. I vow at this moment in time to only watch the premium movie channels and possibly Nick and Disney to avoid such mood changing commercials. Hopefully, if I ever get cancer or asbestos lungs to go along with my bad credit, dry feet, and fat ass, I’ll die sitting in front of the TV watching the Trix bunny trick those stupid kids out of their tasty cereal!